5 Steps to Worry Less
How to Manage Worry
I was never much of a worrier. The only real thing I’d worry about was money. And back when I had obsessive health habits, I’d worry about my weight and what I was eating or how much I was exercising. Otherwise, I would I’d say I was an average worrier, worrying about things that needed my attention when they would arise, and mostly not worrying too much about anything that wasn’t in my immediate world.
Something has shifted though. In fact a lot of things have shifted. I wonder if you can relate to any of these new worries?
Being a parent. OMG the WORRY! So many things to worry about. His health and well-being, whether or not I’m screwing him up and he’ll spend his adult life in therapy, bullying, the broken world I’ve brought him into… the list seriously goes on and on!
The pandemic. In a world where most folks took getting the cold or flu in stride, we are now constantly aware of the effects of poor health security measures, the impacts of spreading the corona virus, the list of loved ones that have been affected by it either directly or indirectly, when and if life will ever “go back to normal”. Again, the list goes on. So much to worry about.
Our planets health. Global warming, climate change, excessive waste and our global leaders being in charge of making the right choices for the future of our planet, our children, and our grandchildren.
Political issues, social issues, human rights….
Is it just me, or are there more things to worry about?
Whether you find yourself worrying about very personal daily things, or the big things that are affecting us all, worry is REAL, and it can completely debilitate us.
IF we don’t have the tools to manage it.
Here are my tips on how to manage worry, so that it doesn’t manage you:
Step one: Identify the thing(s) that is worrying you. Name it. Like Lord Voldemort, when we do not name it, we give it more power. The Worry That Shall Not Be Named lives darkly in our hearts eating away at us. When you feel the worry creeping in, stop and articulate for yourself EXACTLY what is worrying you. Shed some Light on it. Be specific too. “I’m worried about my son” is too broad and leaves the worry open ended. “I’m worried that my son feels lonely” is a specific statement that can lead to…
Step two: Brainstorm solutions. Part of why worry eats away at us is because we give it the power to control outcomes. Take that power away by exploring what you can actually DO about it and you cripple the worry down to manageable size. Take your power back. For most worries, yes there IS something you can do. Whether you take action to help prevent an undesirable outcome, or you have a voice to help educate others about an issue that needs to be addressed collectively and socially, you are more in control that you may realize. Sometimes what we need to do is to STOP doing something – like googling it.
Step three: What can you do RIGHT NOW to address this worry? DO IT. Whether you do a little research, reach out for help, book an appointment, or physically do something towards preventing your worry to become reality, if you can do something about it right now, do.
Step four: If there is something you can do, but only later, SCHEDULE IT. Get it off your radar today, by scheduling it for some later date. Then your mind won’t need to keep running circles around it.
Step five: If there is nothing you can do about it, make peace. Reassure yourself that you’ve taken the steps to manage your worry and now you need to let it go. Whatever will be, will be, and if you could have done something, you would have. Now it’s time to accept that some things are just outside of our control, and that we will manage them to the best of our abilities should they ever arise.
Finally, know this. Much of what we worry about never even plays out as badly as we imagined. Sure sometimes life is a real bitch, but most of the time, we spent a lot of time worrying about the worst happening when something far less grave than the worst is what actually transpires.
I hope that these tips help you manage your worries. It’s a practice. You likely won’t stop worrying right away after practicing these tips, but if you keep at it, keep trying to calm your mind and settle your Spirit, you will find you worry less than you once did.
Need some help managing worry and stress? Coaching is a GREAT way to help you get actionable tools to move forward. Book a session with me, and let’s help you get centered.
